The Year I Stopped Drinking Alcohol
This time last year (4 January to be precise) I gave up drinking alcohol. I’m not a great believer in new year’s resolutions, they are so often noble intentions that fall at the first hurdle. Rather than resolutions, I prefer to create a theme for the year that guides my intentions and for 2021 this was being more conscious around health and wellbeing.
My work as a coach and facilitator relies heavily on my overall presence. How I show up impacts the quality of my clients experience, and I’d begun to notice that even one glass of wine in an evening could affect my clarity of thought and energy levels the next day. So I was curious about stopping drinking and the impact this would have.
What evolved over the course of the year has revealed some valuable insights about what happens when we navigate change, particularly on the more personal level of changing our habits.
1) Treat it as an experiment – viewing what I was doing from a place of curiosity helped increase my commitment to it because I didn’t know how things would go - whatever happened would be interesting. As it happened, stopping drinking was really easy and viewing it all as a grand experiment really helped. A friend said to me “keep the ritual but change the substance”. Wise advice which meant that when I got to the end of the day, a previously typical time to relax and reach for the bottle, I tried different alcohol free spirits and mixers. I found a great website www.wisebartender.com that offered a whole host of options, satisfying my need for variety and linked to my second insight.
2) Look after your inner child – be curious, suspend judgement, get playful with it.
Our emotional needs stem from our child ego. When not getting our needs met, its that inner child part of us that can sabotage our intentions. We all have needs for fun, enjoyment, to relax and to feel part of a social group. By experimenting with different non-alcoholic drinks whenever there was a social occasion, I didn’t feel I was missing out as I too had a pleasant, interesting drink to savour. It also contributed to a celebratory atmosphere and best of all, no fuzzy head or hangover the next day. It didn’t stunt my ability to have fun, which if I’m honest, was a big concern before I started.
3) One month at a time – committing to stopping for a whole year meant that it was a long term goal, but also didn’t feel permanent. My intention at the beginning of the year was to return to drinking alcohol after that time. Knowing that made it easier to stick to and gave me a measure of my progress.
4) Celebrate each small step - getting to 3 months seemed so quick, and as each month passed I had a little internal celebration which acknowledged my progress and kept me going. Celebrating doesn’t have to be a lavish event, my small internal “hooray!” was a way of acknowledging progress and encouraging me on, something so important for any change you may be navigating.
5) Change one thing and eventually the whole system is impacted – my theme for the year was related to the whole of my health and well-being and yet up until June I’d approached this only by giving up alcohol. By the middle of the year my energy and sense of self was restored to such a degree that I had the resources to focus on other habits such as eating more healthily and getting myself physically fit. Changing one thing had a positive knock on affect.
6) Be open to what emerges - What I imagined the experience of giving up drinking to be like and the reality was very different. My (in hindsight rather romanticised) expectation of giving up booze was that I would experience a sudden wave of exhilaration, that colours would be brighter, and smells sweeter. This did not happen. This got me thinking about how we can be about all types of change. We imagine things good or bad, which can empower or limit how we engage with, but in reality we have no idea what it will really be like. The learning here for me was to not get so caught up with imagining it, instead dip your toe in the water and see how it is. Whilst i didn’t get the ray of light I was anticipating, I did experience many benefits I greatly appreciate.
So what have I gained from my year of sobriety? And am I going to continue?
The main thing I’ve noticed is the overall change in my state, how I manage myself and my capacity to be present. My mood is steadier, calmer and I have a much stronger sense of “OKness” about myself. Don’t get me wrong, I still experience negative emotions, I haven’t stopped being human, but I am more resourced and capable of managing these. My energy is more consistently focussed and my overall health greatly improved. I certainly notice and am appreciative of the colours, sounds and smells around me and increased sense of connection with those I am in contact with.
I have every intention to keep going. Much as I miss the flavour of a smooth red or crisp dry white wine (sadly I’ve yet to find a non alcohol version that can replace these), I’m still enjoying the experiment and what is opening up from it.
I’m still reflecting on what my theme will be for this year, but trust it will emerge by the end of January.
I’d love to hear what you learnt from 2021 and your intentions for 2022. Please feel free to drop me a line and share.