The Resolution Paradox: Why Our Inner Child Holds the Key to a Successful Year

As the calendar flips to a new year, many of us will embark on the annual ritual of making New Year's resolutions. Whether it's the commitment to hit the gym regularly, adopt a healthier diet, or finally conquer a long-standing bad habit, resolutions are often seen as the first step towards a better version of ourselves. However, this well-intentioned tradition has a glaring flaw: the tendency to set goals based on what we think we "should" be doing rather than what we truly desire.

The root of the problem lies in a mix of our societal conditioning and our ego, putting pressure on ourselves to conform to external expectations. We often find ourselves making resolutions because it's the socially accepted thing to do, without pausing to consider if these goals align with our authentic desires. This is where the concept of our inner child becomes crucial.

Our inner child represents the core of our emotional needs and desires. It's the part of us that seeks joy, playfulness, and authenticity. When we set resolutions that stem from a place of obligation rather than genuine want, we risk neglecting our inner child's needs. This internal conflict can manifest in self-sabotaging behaviours, derailing our efforts to achieve the very goals we set.

Consider the classic example of the resolution to lose weight. Society bombards us with messages about the "ideal" body, leading many to feel compelled to shed pounds as a resolution. However, this often translates to strict diets and deprivation, pitting our inner child against our well-intentioned adult self. As we resist the cravings for sugary foods, we inadvertently create a battleground within ourselves.

The longer we deny our inner child its desires, the harder it becomes to sustain our resolutions. It's a recipe for failure, as our emotional needs go unmet, leading to feelings of deprivation, frustration, and, eventually, abandonment of the resolution altogether.

So, what's the alternative to this cycle of should-do resolutions and subsequent self-sabotage? Enter the idea of setting a theme for the year, a gentle and adaptable approach that respects the needs of our inner child.

Choosing a theme allows us to create intentions that align with our desires. Instead of imposing strict rules, we can infuse our actions with the essence of the theme, making our pursuits more enjoyable and sustainable. For instance, rather than focusing solely on weight loss, a theme of holistic well-being might inspire activities like trying new, nutritious recipes, exploring enjoyable forms of physical activity, and prioritising mental health.

By incorporating a theme, we shift our mindset from rigid expectations to flexible intentions, giving room for growth and self-discovery. This approach nurtures our inner child and encourages a positive and supportive relationship between our adult selves and the emotional needs that drive us.

In conclusion, the New Year's resolution paradox stems from the clash between societal expectations and our true desires, often leaving our inner child neglected and sabotaging our efforts. Choosing a theme for the year offers a lighter, more compassionate alternative, allowing us to set intentions that align with our authentic selves. By embracing this approach, we can create meaningful and sustainable changes that nurture both our adult aspirations and the needs of our inner child.

Mary Gregory